dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Randomize
