I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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