I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
