omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
