i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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