I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
