That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
