Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
