I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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