its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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