I'm drive I can fine osifer
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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