best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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