ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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