But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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