If i come over, it means nothing
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Randomize
