hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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