I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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