And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
