So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
