Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
