Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i love accidental penises.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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