Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize