Christians are straight up FREAKS
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
