Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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