So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I just got carded by a ten year old.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
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