Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Boobs speak an international language.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
