the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
