It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
