Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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