Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Randomize
