i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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