You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
