His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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