I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
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