Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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