I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
