office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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