i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
