just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Green mimosas i think yes
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
