as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
