Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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