Having a random hookup so left but love u
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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