This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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