Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
