Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
