I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
