were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
