Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
