he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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