Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
