when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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