Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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